Did you hear about the profit return from the banks bailout? How about the recent rumors over accusations by and against a Supreme Court Judge? No? Of course not, Who cares? We have better things to worry about, like real life, having a job, playing video games, or going to school.
If you think politics is a boring waste of time, I present to you, the Absurdist Revolutionary Party.
Nicholas Goroff, of Hillsborough County, New Hampshire, has decided to run for County Attorney. The catch? There is no prerequisite that states actually have to be an attorney, or know anything about law to run for the position. Goroff decided due to the absolutely ridiculous atmosphere surrounding politics today, combined with the chance to win an election to become a protector and representative of the law for the people, he had no choice but to run.
Goroff, founder of the Absurdist Revolutionary Party (ARP), has endorsed himself, and has quite a unique platform. His website reads “Hillsborough County doesn't need another lawyer for its attorney! Help us move past the days of careerist politicians and elect someone who is at least honest about how absurd his candidacy is!”
During my recent time with Goroff, he told me what he will address as soon as he wins the election. “I've promised, as Hillsborogh County Attorney, I’ll oppose wasteful spending, solve the case about the Old Man in the Mountain's collapse, (Goroff believes John McCain may be behind the conspiracy) cut the budget, create peace in the middle east, and solve world hunger.”
More to the point, Goroff gave his full experience he will bring as County Attorney. “I'm not a lawyer and I don't pretend to be, unless I'm being pulled over by the police or explaining to my girlfriend why I feel the Halloween candy bulk variety pack is such a great deal when we both know that there will be no trick or treaters coming by.”
I know this all sounds a bit Absurd, but that is what the Absurdist Revolutionary Party is all about. Although you are reading this from everywhere but Hillsborough County, NH, you can help support Goroff, and future ARP candidates simply by ‘liking’ his facebook page.
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